So drunk, too bad you don't want this
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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