how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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