we have pet lesbian snakes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
