Where did you get a picture of my penis
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
