Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
