also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
