what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
