did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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