My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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