He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
