is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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