hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
