i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
