i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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