my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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