did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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