i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
