Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
