I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
