Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
