In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
