Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
