Soap is not a condiment
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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