Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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