from now on my penis is your penis
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
