hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
