Yo dont text me then not text me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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