Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think I am morally bankrupt
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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