I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize