You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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