a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
