I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
