mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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