There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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