I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
