that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
