I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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