Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
