Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
