Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
