Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
