How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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