Me. At least after what I've been through.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
