she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
