i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
