that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
