I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
