therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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