Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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