So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
